


BDSM for the Soul of Friendship

by Pr1nceV1nc3



Series: GrimmIchi BDSM [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Asexual Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Communication, Dom Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Dom/sub Play, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Non-Sexual Bondage, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Kink, Non-Sexual Submission, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Platonic BDSM, Post-Winter War (Bleach), Sub Kurosaki Ichigo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29014140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pr1nceV1nc3/pseuds/Pr1nceV1nc3
Summary: Ichigo is stressing out over college exams and his life as a substitute soul reaper is catching up to him. Grimmjow offers an alternative way to let go and relax beyond their normal fight until bloody exhaustion.
Series: GrimmIchi BDSM [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176425
Comments: 11
Kudos: 26





	1. Exploring Their Options

Ichigo was studying for his college exams. He realized that not only had he not been able to sit still for the last hour, but he had just reread the same passage for the umpteenth time and still wasn’t able to say what topic he was working on at the point. Releasing a harsh breath he pushed away from his desk, planning on getting up for a walk only to topple over which caused Kon to jump up from his nap.

“What happened?” He shouted.

Growling Ichigo rolled over, “I’m going to Urahara’s. I need a fight. Do you want to go or stay here?”

“I want to go. Do I get to be in your body or are you going to make me go like this?”

As he had been waiting for Kon to respond he started cleaning his desk and grabbed a change of clothes so he could wash up at the shoten before coming back home. “I need to move, but don’t worry, I will get out of my body at the shoten.”

Kon didn’t say anything more, just jumped into Ichigo’s bag as he picked it up.

On the way to the shop, Ichigo couldn’t help but think about how chaotic his life felt like it was. He was thinking about how crazy his life had been since he met Rukia, but didn’t regret helping her. He just wanted a break to recoup, however with so many people always relying on him and asking for help he knew that was never going to happen. At least he wasn’t in this alone anymore.

When Ichigo made it to the shop he was greeted by Ururu when he walked in. “Hey, he’s already downstairs.”

Ichigo barely paused when he walked in, grunting an acknowledgement he pushed his way into the back. He dropped his bag at the top of the entrance to the training ground, popped out of his body and dropped into the training grounds.

“Dude, I thought you were busy today?” Grimmjow skid to a stop.

Taking a ready position Ichigo stated, “Needed to get out, fight me!” As he finished in a shout he leaped at Grimmjow.

Deftly avoiding the advance Grimmjow grabbed the hand holding Zangetsu and twisted Ichigo’s arm as he turned locking Ichigo in a headlock with ease.

“Hey, what gives?”

Chuckling, Grimmjow lowered their combined arms, “You are in no shape to give me a good fight, but I think I know what can help you calm down just as good.”

Growling, Ichigo turned his head enough to glare up at his friend who just won’t let go, “And what would that be?” He was going to just not mention the fact that Grimm was still holding him, there was just something about this that he couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

“You feel like you’re spiralling out of control, yeah? Like you can’t keep up with everything anymore.”

“Yeah…” Ichigo stretched the word out trying to figure out how Grimmjow had just said the exact same things he had been thinking on his way over.

Taking careful consideration of his friend, Grimmjow said lowly, “I will let go of you so we can discuss this properly, but I need to know if you are going to try and attack me again.”

Letting out a huff of breath, Ichigo let his sword arm drop and shoulders sag as much as his tense muscles would allow in this position, “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“I’m listening, don’t worry.”

With a skeptical eye, Grimmjow released Ichigo, but did not step back, only separated himself from him enough that he could stand up and move as he felt necessary.

“What’s this grand idea you’ve got?” He straightened and moved enough that he could safely replace Zangetsu on his back. “If I don’t like the sound of it I’m going at you again.”

Grimm grunted in response before saying, “Just swear you’ll hear me out fully before making any decisions.” He was still watching Ichigo with a skeptical eye as he placed his hands on his hips.

Before responding Ichigo calculated the severity behind his friend’s words and actions. This was nothing like he was used to from him. Every other time Ichigo had been as lax with his attack or sloppy with his defense Grimmjow had simply sent him flying, not stepped back with an alternative. “Okay, what’s going on? Why are you being as cryptic as old hat-n-clogs is?”

“I’m not being cryptic, I just need to know if you will hear me entirely out before making any decisions.” Grimm was quickly becoming frustrated with this, but he knew he had to be careful or Ichigo would likely get the wrong idea.

Narrowed eyes, a shake of his head, and throwing his hands up, Ichigo sighed, “I’m listening what the hell has you like this, I’ve never seen you act like this before.”

Grimmjow sighed and plopped down with his legs crossed, sheathing Pantera and setting her aside, he asked, “Do you know what BDSM is?”

Out of pure shock in response to the question Ichigo stuttered, “W-What?” His eyes had gone wide when he swallowed hard as he tried to wrap his head around the topic. Obviously he knew what it was, afterall he was an adult human -technically- and someone filled with curiosity and access to the internet.  
“BDSM directly stands for bondage, domination…” Grimmjow started, but was quickly interrupted with Ichigo waving his arms around.

“No! I mean, I know what it is, but why are you asking? I don’t want you tying me up and fucking me.”

Shocked by his outburst, Grimm chuckled, “That’s, that’s not why I was wondering. I’m glad you have an idea about what it is though, but BDSM isn’t only about sex. For many, sex is just an added bonus, but I’m not interested in sex with you…” As he finished Grimm’s voice had trailed off and his eyes dropped. He hadn’t meant to say it like that, but it wasn’t a lie.

Quirking an eyebrow, “Okay, what about it then?” Ichigo wasn’t the least bit offended by Grimm’s finishing comment, but didn’t quite understand how BDSM connected to this conversation or how it was going to help him relax. He trusted his friend though, so he continued to listen and wait for the explanation that was likely coming.

“How familiar are you with Submissives and the benefits of subspace?” With Ichigo completely ignoring his comment his confidence was able to settle again. He was completely certain that with as much control Ichigo usually wields over his life and power combined with all of the expectations placed on him by Kiske, his family, friends, and all of the Soul Society, the pressure is likely too much since he never gets a real break and has been fighting since he was sixteen.

“They completely give up control in a situation to their partner and it makes them feel free and safe, why?”

“Doesn’t that sound good? Getting to take a break from all the stress? Many Subs actually have very high demand lives or jobs at the very least. It helps them step away and relax and recover. I’m offering a change to explore something that might help you release tension and stress. In no way am I asking for anything beyond a chance to help you feel better, nothing sexual will come from this.”

“I don’t think I’m submissive. What makes you think I am?” Confused and still trying to understand everything Grimm was telling him, Ichigo finally removed Zangetsu and put him to the side too. He sat down opposite Grimm, but not actually facing him.

Grimmjow just sat there a moment just watching Ichigo in front of him. He just sat there until Ichigo growled again. Holding back a chuckle Grimm commanded, “Look at me Ichigo.” He didn’t say anything else wanting to see how Ichigo was going to react, but also not wanting to continue if he wasn’t giving the conversation his full attention, or listening closely.

A chill went down his spine when he heard the tone of Grimmjow’s voice. Trying his best to keep his breathing stable took a moment, acting as if he were thinking over whether or not he was going to do what his friend was telling him to do- no, commanding him to do. He finally turned his head to meet Grimm’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything or move any more than that.

Grimm smiled watching Ichigo’s reaction, or calculated non-reaction, to his command. “I’m not saying you are, I’m saying you might be based on all of my observations. I’m asking if you trust me enough to talk about trying some things.”

“So you’re saying because I’m so pissed off about studying I should let you do what? Tie me up?” Ichigo couldn’t help his aggressive tone or stop himself from crossing his arms.

“I want you to take a moment to just breathe and think about this whole conversation, all the way from where it started when I had you in a headlock. Please think about everything I’ve said and the way that you have responded physically and internally. Then I want you to give me a completely honest answer about whether or not we can talk about some things I think might help you. ” Grimm let the command fall from his voice after telling Ichigo to breathe. The rest of that he said was all just confident straight forward requested statements. He was really hoping Ichigo would allow for a more in depth conversation.

Immediately after Grimm finished talking Ichigo opened his mouth, “I-”

“No, please. Take this seriously. I want to help you Ichi, but I need you to actually think about everything so far. Please. This is all for you.” Grimm cut Ichigo off, not surprised that he wasn’t even going to think for a moment, but hoping beyond hope that he would seriously consider what he was trying to offer him.

Breathing a heavy sigh, Ichigo laid back folding his arms behind his head. He had to admit that Grimm actually hadn’t been wrong about how he was feeling. That realization hit differently than it originally did when he had noticed Grimm said everything that he had thought on his way over to the shoten. He even had to admit the idea of letting someone physically take control of him for a little while and take care of him actually sounded really good, even if he didn’t think that it would be easy for him to let go like that.

Before Ichigo could completely make up his mind Kiske dropped down into the training grounds and immediately had a conspiratorial grin break out across his face. He brought up his fan to hide his face as usual. “Everyone is heading to bed, I’m going to close up the hatch too, but you two are more than welcome to stay down here to train as long as you would like. Just be sure that when you come upstairs when you’re done down here, that you close the hatch again. Also, should I send Kon home with your body or down here?” He knew the answer, but thought it funny to make Ichigo admit it himself.

“We aren’t done here, send him home.” That was all Ichigo was willing to say to the shopkeeper.

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at Ichigo’s response, hoping it meant that he was indeed going to allow for a deeper conversation, but that couldn’t happen until Kiske went back upstairs.

“Well alright then, he will be disappointed, but I will let him know. Oh, before I head back up, would you like me to drop your bag or leave it up there?”

Without conscious decision on his part Ichigo looked at Grimm silently asking if they were staying down here or going upstairs.

“His bad is fine where it is.” Grimm responded for Ichigo without much thought, just wanting him to go away.

Kiske’s grin only widened behind his fan at the exchange, he felt he knew what was going to happen after he left the two friends alone tonight. “Alright then, have fun you two.” And without waiting for another response he quickly climbed the latter and shut the two into the training grounds.

The two watched as kiske left the underground training facility. Grimmjow waited, mostly patient for Ichigo to finally respond to his earlier request.

Slowly Ichigo looked back at his friend, and upon inspection he decided Grimmjow was waiting for an honest and direct answer, that he wasn’t going to take his earlier response to Kiske as his final answer. “I don’t want to fight you anymore tonight, but I know that I won’t be able to sleep, relax, or focus on anything any time soon, so fine. Let’s talk about what you think will help me.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re being honest with both yourself and with me. You keep saying you don’t want me to tie you up, but is that how you really feel or are you just nervous about all this?” Grimm really wanted to know, because the first time it was brought up it was in a sexual context and the second purely sounded confused about this whole thing.

“Umm…” Ichigo really didn’t know, all he could think of was how absolutely helpless he had felt when he had been completely restrained by kido in the Soul Society. “No kido.”

Grimm raised an eyebrow, “Don’t have to worry about that with me, I’m not a soul reaper.”

Ichigo just hummed in response because he was stuck in the memory of when he had been restrained in the Soul Society, he felt panicked but couldn’t stop it, couldn’t make the fear go away.

Noticing his friend’s panic, Grimm rolled onto his knees and reached a hand out carefully placing it on Ichigo’s cheek. “Look at me Ichi. I’ve got you. If you decide to try light bondage I will tie it with a quick release and you could easily break it if you needed to. I don’t want to hurt you. Anything that we do will be completely up to you. Look at me Ichi, look at me. Breathe.”

Ichigo had let his eyes flick up to Grimm when he first told him to look at him, but his eyes dropped again, just as quickly. He was listening though, listening to his friend was helping him calm some and return to this moment, but wasn’t able to focus again until Grimm’s finishing commands. Finally his breathing regulated again and was able to meet Grimm’s eyes again with steady confidence and solid trust. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“Nothing to be sorry about. Need a hug?” Grimm asked softly.

Ichigo nodded, curious to feel his friend’s arms around him. It’s rare for Grimmjow to offer non-violent physical contact.

“Okay,” was his only response before pulling Ichigo into his arms and holding him with solid, strong arms. He gently squeezed his friend when he felt him shudder against him. Grimm just held him for a minute until he felt him slump in his hold. “Feel ready to continue talking?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

They both sat back again. “What do you think about sensory deprivation?” Grimmjow broke the silence again after they had settled.

“You mean like blindfold me? I guess that would be fine.”

“Okay, how would you feel about a massage?”

Ichigo hummed, “That actually sounds really good, but how much clothing would you want me to take off first?”

“I thought you might like the sound of a massage. You would only need to take off your tops if that makes you more comfortable, but the more skin and body that you reveal would allow for a better massage. Remember this is all for you, so you only have to do what you want and are comfortable with. Also, I’ve done it a few times already, but are you comfortable with me giving you verbal commands to follow?”

The corner of Ichigo’s mouth lifted in a half smile, “I thought that one was pretty obvious in my responses so far.”

“I need a verbal answer Ichigo, I need to hear that you are comfortable with it or I will stop doing that. Commands are just as much a part of BDSM as bondage, blindfolds, and all the other things. If you do not consent honestly to them I cannot continue using them.” Grimmjow was a little upset with himself for allowing his subconscious commands before he asked if it was alright for him to command Ichigo around.

Ichigo actually let out a laugh before responding, “Yeah, commands are fine, actually they are pretty great. I didn’t think I would like being told what to do, but so far they have only helped me focus and relax.”

“Good, I’m glad. I won’t stop using them then.” Grimmjow said before falling silent again, thinking.

Before Grimmjow spoke again, Ichigo spoke up, “Impact play. I want to try over thin clothing.”

Grimmjow was slightly surprised, but he knew that it helped a lot of people feel like they were releasing a lot of stress and tension, “Okay, we could try that if you’re sure.”

“I am.” Ichigo left it at that, letting Grimmjow continue to think.

“Flogging? Caning? Spanking? What are your limits for impact play?” Grimmjow decided to expand on Ichigo’s idea before continuing on.

“Flogging, sure. Caning, not yet, and spanking might be too sexual, but we’ll see if that is okay with you.” Ichigo didn’t hesitate until he came to his response towards spanking.

“That’s all fair. How about required positions?” Grimmjow finally decided on his next idea.

“Can you explain that more? I think I know what you are talking about, but I’m not sure.” Ichigo finished with his head tilted to the side.

“Very good, of course I will explain it. Thank you for asking.” Grimm said with a smile. “What I mean is that when you need me to help you like we are discussing, would it be alright if I requested you to sit, stand, or lay in specific positions?”

“Oh, okay. I’m willing to try, but if anything is uncomfortable, I don’t want to do it.”

“That is perfectly fair, wouldn’t expect you too since this is supposed to help you relax and be comfortable.”

Nodding his head Ichigo looked at his hands in his lap, “We, we aren’t going to do all of this tonight are we?”

“If all you want to do tonight is talk that’s fine with me. I’m your friend, I just want to help in any way I can. In fact you already seem calmer than you did when you got here. If we don’t do any of this ever, that is also fine with me, but I do think it could help you sometimes.”

“Okay.” Ichigo’s voice was quiet as he considered Grimmjow’s words. “Can we, um, talk about the positions that you were referring to?”

“You don’t have to be nervous, if you want to explore them that is perfectly alright. Remember this is all at your pace.”

Really looking at Grimmjow, Ichigo took a deep breath, “I would like to try.”

“Okay, then the first position I want to work with you on this is the basic kneeling position.” Grimmjow paused watching Ichigo for any reactions.

Ichigo didn’t wait for him to continue instead, he rolled up onto his knees and sat back on his heels. He placed his hands on his thighs and looked to Grimmjow.

“Not bad, that looks like a basic seiza position though. What I want is for you to let your body relax a little more and open your knees to a comfortable width and turn your hands so they are palm up. When you are comfortable I want you to look me in the eyes, got it?” Grimm finished in another commanding tone.

“Okay,” Ichigo let his knees slide open to shoulder width apart and turned his hands over. “Like this?” He asked as he met Grimm’s eyes again.

Grimmjow stood up and walked around Ichigo once. “Very good, are you comfortable?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, can I massage your shoulders a little bit?” Grimmjow had squatted down so that he was eye level again with Ichigo.  
Ichigo simply nodded his head.

“No, Ichigo, I want you to continue using your words. Please, that way I know you are certain about your answers and not just pleasing me. Remember this is for you, not me.” Grimmjow’s voice gained a stern tone.

“Sorry, yes. Yes, you can massage my shoulders.”

“I won’t make you sit like this for too long. It takes practice to be able to hold it for long periods of time, but I want you to have a chance to get used to it a little and get something relaxing out of it.” Grimmjow stood to move behind Ichigo. Gently, but with firm pressure, he placed his hands on his shoulders. He didn’t move his hands until he felt Ichigo settle a little, getting used to his hands on him. Slowly he started rubbing firm circles into his trapezius muscles and rhythmically kneading his fingers along the tops of his shoulders. Once he felt Ichigo begin to relax further at the attention began massaging more thoroughly.

They stayed like that until Ichigo shifted, his lower legs starting to go numb. Grimmjow eased up slowly before removing his hands so as not to jar Ichigo from his relaxed state anymore than the discomfort in his legs had already done. “You’re welcome to get out of the position. You did rather well holding the position for so long for the first time. Is there anything else that you want to try tonight?”

At the okay to move Ichigo had sat off to the side to sit on his posterior again. He just hummed as he stretched out his legs, thinking. He really did already feel much better than when he left his house earlier. “No, thank you. I feel a lot better already. How do you even know about all this stuff anyway?”

“I've had some time to try things and learn things since becoming an espada and then coming to live and help out at the Shoten. I’ve actually had a lot of freedom, except, nevermind.” Grimmjow finished off softly, meeting Ichigo’s eyes again, he said, “I was curious after stumbling across a few things in my past. I found I am interested in these things and actually kind of good. I’m glad I could help you like this.”

“Cool. I think for tonight I’m done, but I will keep thinking about what we talked about and will come back again. Thanks for helping me.”

“No problem.” Grimmjow held out a hand to help Ichigo up, he didn’t let go until he was sure that his legs were steady enough to hold him.

After grabbing Zangetsu, Ichigo paused, “Can...nevermind.”

Grimm lightly grabbed his arm as he turned for the latter, “It’s okay if you feel like coming by again tomorrow to talk more or try more of this out. I’m not doing much right now anyway. Just don’t come over before noon tomorrow.”

Throwing Grimm a bright smile over his shoulder, Ichigo jumped up onto the latter, Grimmjow easily letting his arm slide from his grasp. Ichigo quickly made his way up the latter with his friend quickly making his way up into the back room after him.

“Thanks, I think I will,” was all Ichigo said before grabbing his bag and leaving out the side door.

Ichigo was about half way home when he realized he felt calm again and had a smile still on his face. He paused and looked up at the moon, “We didn’t do anything, why do I feel like this. Grimm basically only made me face how I’ve been feeling and admit it out loud. Was that really all that I needed? Or is it the shoulder massage he gave me?” Still trying to parse out the reason he felt the way he did, Ichigo continued on his way home.

As per usual whenever he came home this late at night in his Shinigami form he jumped up to his bedroom window and climbed onto his bed.

“Took you long enough,” Kon grunted, “and you don’t even look like you did any training!”

Scowling at the mod soul in his body, Ichigo grabbed his soul pass and hit him square in the chest. After stepping back into his body he paused, contemplating if he should put Kon back into his lion form or not. Sighing he decided he better had unless he never wanted to hear the end of it again when he finally popped Kon into his plushy body.

Not even letting Kon open his stupid plushed mouth, Ichigo said, “We ended up talking instead of fighting, so what?” He hadn’t meant to ask a question, no matter how defensive his voice was, and give the mod soul an opening to throw his inevitable fit.

“Yeah, right! Like Grimmjow could ever talk nicely for that long!” Kon laughed instead of throwing a tantrum about being left alone again for so long. “Beside Urahara said you two were playing around down there.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Ichigo set about getting ready for bed, “Literally only talking, don’t know what that creep was talking about.” He purposefully ignored him as he finished up and climbed into bed. It was almost instantaneous when his head hit the pillow, that he fell into a deep, restorative sleep.

*********

Yuzu woke Ichigo the next day for breakfast. “Ichi-nii, breakfast is ready!”

He quickly got dressed and headed downstairs. He still had a content look on his face, which was brought to his attention by Yuzu, “You look like you’re finally in a good mood again. What happened yesterday after you left that has put you in such a good mood?”

“Did my son finally have-” Before Ishiin could finish his question Karin cut in, “Don’t want to know if it involves sex!”

“No, no sex, just a good conversation with a friend. He helped me put things in perspective again is all.” Ichigo leveled Karin with a thankful look, ignoring his pouting and intruding father.

“Good for you,” was her only response to that.

Quickly finishing his breakfast, he excused himself to go and work on his studying some more. Once closed up in his room again he let out a heavy breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He was grateful when he found he could actually focus on his Anatomy textbook to review the last five chapters they had been working on in class.

He found himself in a studying zone and only broke out of it when Yuzu came to his door, “Lunch is ready,” followed a polite knock from her as she tried not to startle him.

“Thanks, Yuzu. I’ll be done in a minute.” He finished up what he was working on and cleaned his desk again before heading down for lunch.

“Thanks for the food,” was all he said before digging in. Lunch went by quieter, but also smoother than breakfast had in his opinion, not noticing the concerned looks he was getting from Yuzu again.

He went back upstairs to go back to studying without any other comments to his sisters. He was able to focus again for about another two hours before getting more and more frustrated again. Once again unable to focus he was constantly shifting in his chair at the desk trying to keep working.

Not long after the agitation started up Ichigo heard a quiet, “Maybe you should go see Grimmy again.” Ichigo had no idea where the little lion was hiding this time, but it did snap him back to enough awareness to reign in his spiritual pressure again.

“Sorry Kon, but you are probably right.” Ichigo slowly stood before grabbing his bag which was still packed from last night and headed out his door.

“Where you going Ichigo?” Stopped him as he reached the front door. He turned and met eyes with his dad, “Urahara’s” was the only thing he said before walking out the door.


	2. Trying New Things

It was about three in the afternoon when he finally dropped into the facility below the shoten. “Well you managed to hold out longer than I thought you would,” was his greeting from Grimmjow.

“Yeah, well I was actually able to focus today, so there wasn’t a need to come rushing back no matter what you thought.” The snide response was what Ichigo retorted with.

“Ooh, sounds like someone needs to relax again though.” Grimmjow knew he was only going to piss Ichigo off more though.

“I swear! If you’re not going to help, I will just go home again.” Ichigo was nearly yelling at his friend who only smirked in response.

“Kneel.” Grimm commanded and was only mildly shocked when Ichigo immediately dropped into the same position he learned just last night.

Grimmjow reached out and patted Ichigo on the head, saying softly, “Good Boy.”

Ichigo flushed mildly in response. He actually shocked himself with how quickly he followed the command and how the subsequent praise made him feel.

Taking note of Ichigo’s expression, Grimm asked, “You doing okay there, buddy?”

“Yes.”

Smiling to himself Grimm walked behind the nearest boulder. He didn’t say anything to Ichigo, just expecting him to hold his position. Behind the boulder, Grimm pulled out a blanket making sure it was smooth with no rocks under it. He placed two ribbons on the blanket and a bottle of massage oil. After looking over his work, he walked back around to Ichigo, “Follow me.”

Ichigo immediately rose and followed Grimm, he froze in his tracks when he saw the blanket. Looking up at Grimm he asked, “What’s this?”

“Blanket, so you don’t have to lay down on the sand without your shirt on. Oil to make the massage easier.” Grimmjow ignored the ribbons, seeing if Ichigo was opposed to them.

“What are those strips of fabric?”

Grimmjow analyzed his friend’s reaction to what was in front of him. He only saw confusion, “If you are comfortable with trying, I want to individually wrap your arms. They are for Deep Pressure Therapy to stimulate blood flow and relaxation, but commonly known for light bondage.”

Nodding his head thinking. Ichigo took a moment before responding. “We can try, but let’s do that first in case I don’t like it.”

“Sounds good to me, don’t want the relaxation from a massage to be ruined by a panic attack.”

Grimmjow moved toward the blanket and pointed at a spot about a quarter of the way onto the blanket. “Take off your shirt and kneel here.”

Ichigo said a quick affirmative and moved to do as he was told.

Kneeling in front of Ichigo, Grimm grabbed Ichigo’s left arm and began massaging his hand slowly moving up his arm as he felt his muscles relax and quit responding to his touch. When finished massaging out his arm he looked into Ichigo’s face trying to find, but not finding any negative response in his features, just curiosity as he was watching his friend’s movements. Without releasing Ichigo’s arm, Grimm reached for the first ribbon and draped it over his wrist. There was a brief flinching at the sensation before Ichigo’s arm went lax again. Confident Ichigo was going to be alright, he dragged it up his arm to his bicep.

“Hold your arm like this.” Grimm waited until he felt ichigo take control of his limb again before releasing his wrist to smoothly begin wrapping his arm in a criss crossing pattern down to his wrist where he tied the two ends together with a quick release hold.

Before completely letting go, Grimmjow gently massaged his arm again, “You can relax your arm again.” He calmly spoke watching Ichigo’s face as he guided his hand back down to his thigh. “How does it feel? How are you feeling?”

“Ichigo let his eyes close for a moment to consider how it really felt. “It feels good, I’m okay.”

“Want to do the other arm?”

“Sure.” 

“Okay,” Grimm slowly moved to repeat the same process on his right arm. 

By the time Grimmjow got down to his elbow with the ribbon Ichigo’s eyes closed and he hummed at the sensations he was feeling, “So comfy.”

Grimmjow didn’t respond, knowing Ichigo wasn’t saying anything looking for a response. He waited until he was finishing the second round of massage and lowering his arm, “You ready to lay down?”

“Yeah. What should I do with my arms?”

“You can fold them under your head like you normally would to lay down on your stomach.”

Ichigo nodded and, after Grimm moved to the side, crawled forward on his hands to lay down. He was mildly surprised at how soft the blanket felt under his naked chest.

After waiting for Ichigo to lay down and settle he asked, “Are you ready?”

While Ichigo was trying to wait patiently and relax, he had been growing more uncomfortable with each passing second. “I can’t do this…” He pushed himself up. 

“What do you mean?” Grimm sat back and held up his hands in surrender.

Ichigo couldn’t find the words to explain, so he just reached for his t-shirt. “I think I just can’t do this without my shirt on. Especially since you wanted to use an oil, I mean, what if I got sand on me? That definitely would have felt worse than my shirt bunching.” 

“Wait, so all you want is to have your shirt on?” Grimm raised an eyebrow.

“I want to start while I’m sitting up. Then maybe, I will lay back down.” Ichigo finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

“That works. If it’s too intimate or if it’s too much in any way I won’t do it. Remember our goal is to help you relax and let go, if you’re uncomfortable in any way you won’t be able to.”

Shifting to sit with his legs crossed, Ichigo faced away from his friend. Looking at his form it was obvious that the relaxation that had washed over him with the arm massages and binding was completely gone. 

Grimmjow’s shoulders slumped as he watched his friend. He took a deep, steadying breath before letting it out slowly he squared his shoulders again. As he gently placed his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders, Grimm asked, “Do you want to continue or do you want me to unwrap your arms so we can spar?”

“I don’t want to fight. Can we please just do the massage?” Ichigo’s words were clipped with irritation.

“Ichi, you don’t sound calm. If you’re uncomfortable please be honest and let me know.”

“I trust you, but everything was just starting to feel too...I don’t know...sexual, maybe? I know you said you didn’t want any of this to allude to sex, but it just didn’t feel right.” As he finished he took a deep breath, trying to let the tension slide from his shoulders again.

Grimmjow draped himself over Ichigo’s shoulders and nuzzled into his hair, trying to comfort both of them. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean for that to feel like that, Ichi. I just thought you would be more comfortable laying down for a massage.”

Ichigo grabbed one of his arms, “I know that’s why I’m not mad at you, but at myself. You really are a cat sometimes, you know that?”

Grimmjow jerked back releasing Ichigo, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Laughing lightly he responded, “You seem all grumpy, but all you honestly want is attention sometimes. You are trying to help me feel better, but you are just coming across gruff quite a bit. Ugh, I’m not explaining it very well, but I meant it in an amused, good sort of way.”

Humming in response, Grimm placed both of his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders again. Squeezing gently he asked again, “Still want a massage...from your grumpy cat?”

Scoffing at how Grimmjow referred to himself, Ichigo said calmly with a slight upturn of his lips, “Yes kitty, I’m ready for my massage.”

Before letting go of his friend he squeezed his shoulders until he saw a slight wince. He then slid his hands down onto his shoulder blades where he kneaded the muscles gently with his fingertips before twisting his palms inward, pressing forward while rubbing up and down along his spine. Grimm started sliding his hands outward towards Ichigo’s sides, being sure to press his thumbs into the muscles more as he dragged his hands out. On his way back toward Ichigo’s spine he eased the pressure he was applying before repeating the process about five times before shifting down a few inches. Grimmjow continued this pattern all the way down his back.

After Grimmjow finished his pattern of massage of Ichigo’s lower back he moved to press his hands with gentle strength up along his spine, then back down. He then slid his hands outward a little before repeating the process until he was working just shy of Ichigo’s sides.

“Why have I been so agitated lately? I don’t understand. It never used to be this bad.” Ichigo asked quietly, looking at his hands, mostly talking to himself.

“You used to train all the time and you had to fight at the top of your strength for survival, too. That would help you expend much of your energy and then only needed to eat and sleep to resettle your energy. Now you usually only have to take out regular hollows every once in a while, but you aren’t being worked to the extremes all the time anymore. When you aren’t expending any of your energy it starts to grate on you more and more. If you are stuck like that too long you get what you’ve been living. So, after you’re done with your finals I think we should start sparring much more and do everything to keep a regular schedule.” Grimmjow wasn’t actually sure how much Ichigo heard, but didn’t call him out on it.

They just sat there quietly for a while, but the comfortable silence was broken by a sniffing sound. That snapped Grimmjow out of his memories of fighting his, now, best friend to the limits of their powers. At the sound of quiet sniffles Grimm froze until he heard it again while focusing on his friend. He immediately crawled around Ichigo and hunched over to try and look up into his face. Grimmjow was startled to see tears running down his cheeks. Without saying a word, pulled Ichigo into his arms and tucked Ichigos’s head against his chest. He just held Ichigo until he felt him shift to reach out and grab his arm. “Ich, it’s okay to recognize that you’re burnt out after going non-stop for as long as you have. I’ve got you though. Remember I’m here for you for whatever you need. I’ve got you Ichigo, just let it out.”

“I completely lost control of my spiritual pressure this afternoon. Kon had to actually call me out on it. I could have seriously hurt my sisters and not even have known it. That’s not normal!” Ichigo finished, clinging desperately to Grimm’s arm, burying his face into his chest.

“That idiot actually was able to talk to you with your spiritual pressure spiking enough you were worried about your sisters?” Grimm was completely confused because he could only picture the perverted little lion that Ichigo carries with him a lot when he comes to the Shoten. “How is he strong enough to do that?”

Before Ichigo could respond to the question they were interrupted by said lion’s indignant shout, “I detest that!” Overlapped with Kiske’s, “Simple, he’s a mod soul I created.”

Ichigo jerked in surprise and tried to pull away from Grimmjow, but his friend wasn’t letting him go, in fact, it felt like he was getting pulled in tighter against him.

“What are you doing down here, Kiske?”

“Well it is my training facility that you are in, but Kon made his way to the shop. He was worried about Ichigo and told me about his lack of control earlier today, but it looks like he is in good hands already.” Kiske was leveling the two on the ground with a gentle smile.

“Well we were doing better about a half hour ago, but we are working through it. Now go away.” Grimmjow glared up at the shopkeeper who was standing above them.

Kiske quirked an eyebrow up at Grimmjow, “Will you be able to do your work tonight or am I to expect double the work tomorrow?”

Furrowing his eyebrows at the man, Grimm tried to understand what was just said. “Shit! I had a shift today for you didn’t I? Yeah, I will work twice as much tomorrow. I can’t leave Ichigo alone right now.”

Ichigo had given up trying to fight Grimm’s embrace, but hadn’t fully relaxed until he said that he wasn’t going to leave him alone. After hearing that Ichigo completely slumped against Grimm’s chest again. “Thank you” came out as a quiet whisper barely making it to Grimm’s ears.

Nodding to his tennant, Kiske turned grasping the stuffed lion on his shoulder so he wouldn’t jump down to stay with the two friends.

Grimmjow didn’t do or say anything until he watched Kiske’s feet disappear through the hatch to the building above them. 

"I meant it, Ichi. I want to help you. You need me tonight more than he needs me to sweep the shop. How are you doing now?"

"I feel heavy, but I also feel better. Sorry I broke down like that. I don't normally cry."

"That may be true, but you have been holding in a. Lot of stress and frustration. Crying comes with the territory sometimes. I just feel bad I was able to intercept Kiske before he saw me holding you. I really hope he doesn't try to use that against you...or us in any way."

"He likely won't, but only because he thinks we're having sex."

For a flash, Grimm's hands tightened on Ichigo. " That's not what this is."

"I know, but Kon told me what Urahara implied yesterday when I finally got home. We're just friends and you're just trying to help me get out of my head, but just because I know that doesn't mean that everyone else will." Ichigo shifted, but then froze. He looked up at his friend and asked, "Can I move now, please?"

Grimmjow met Ichigo's eyes, "Yes" was all he said before relaxing his grip enough for Ichigo to crawl out of his grasp.

Getting into the kneeling position Grimmjow taught him, Ichigo sat there just watching his friend. 

Ichigo didn't say or do anything more than that, but Grimm noticed that there was absolutely no tension in his body. "Look at you. Your eyes might be a little red, but you actually look relaxed. Sometimes you just have to let go, huh?"

"Except usually when I cry I just feel like shit afterwards. You made it different, somehow."

"I didn't do anything, you were just actually recognizing the cause, which if you're anything like me, you don't normally do."

Ichigo's head snapped up looking at Grimmjow with a critical eye, "Anything like you? Are you saying that you actually cry?"

"I am a person. Everyone cries from time to time, they just don't always tell people. Is that all you heard?" Grimm was now scowling at Ichigo, arms crossed over his chest.

"You think it's because I was recognizing what was causing the tears." Ichigo repeated his friend's words.

"Yeah, so tell me what it was that made you cry." It wasn't stated exactly like a question, but more of a command.

"I was afraid of hurting my sister's."

"No, try again."

"I lost control."

"Wrong again. Try it again, think."

Ichigo took a deep breath, "I'm so tired that I feel like I'm falling apart." His head dropped, chin landing on chest rather sharply.

Grimmjow reached out and patted Ichigo on the head. "Good. That's what it is, I just would have stayed it differently. Do you think that yesterday and today help at all with that?"

"It feels really good to let someone else take care of me sometimes, so maybe."

"Lift your left arm."

"Why?"

Raising an eyebrow at Ichigo Grimmjow repeated his instruction with a little more force, "Lift your left arm."

Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it as he realized what was happening, receiving another, "Good boy," in response from his friend.

A low whisper of thanks was then heard from Ichigo. He held still keeping his arm at shoulder height for his friend not concerned about whether or not he was going to do something, just following directions as discussed.

Grimmjow walked around Ichigo before smiling and pulling the easy release end of the tie, but not doing anything more than that. "Lift your right arm."

Ichigo quickly complied not reacting in any other way to what Grimm was doing. Grimm rewarded him with pulling the ribbon off of his left arm before untying the right. When he finished that Grimm commanded, "Put your hands back in position."

At first Ichigo didn't want to do as told, confused by Grimmjow's request since he hadn't removed the second ribbon, only untied it. That uncertainty only lasted about a second before he complied though. When he lowered his arms the ribbon slipped which caused a shiver to run down Ichigo's body at the sensation, but tried not to let anything show on his face before holding his position again.

"Good, you may now remove the ribbon. Thanks for humoring me. I wanted to see how you would react."

Instead of moving Ichigo met Grimm's eyes, "Will you please take the ribbon off?"

A smile sprawled lazily across Grimmjow's face, "Of course."

Grimmjow quickly moved to pull the ribbon the rest of the way off. He knelt in front of Ichigo and twisted the ribbons up into a neatly looped spiral to store the ribbons before tucking them safely in his pocket. "This was all I had planned today, but I don't want you to leave if you don't feel okay. So, tell me, are you going to be okay tonight?"

"I will…" Ichigo was cut off by a large yawn. 

Grimmjow chuckled as he watched his friend. 

"I will be alright, I'm clearly very tired now though. Thank you for helping me and I'm sorry I just sobbed like a baby. Please don't tell anyone about that." He finished with large pleading eyes.

"No worries, besides other that the creep in the hat who saw it, I don't think anyone would believe me."

"Thanks. Hey, will you walk with me on my way home?"

"Why?"

Grimmjow's question stumped Ichigo, why did he want Grimmjow to walk with him? 

"Nevermind. No reason, I guess I thought you just might like to get out when you aren't working for Urahara or hiding down here."

With a chuckle Grimmjow stated with a slight smile, "Liar, but sure."


	3. Interuptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat imagery

Chuckling Grimmjow stated with a slight smile, "Liar, but sure."

The next day Ichigo was calm as he entered his final exam room for his Anatomy exam. After the exam was finished he slumped down in his desk chair in his room. Ichigo was sure that they had passed, but the pure amount of focus that he had drawn upon in order to sit through the exam and remember everything that he had been studying was finally extracting it’s toll. He felt bone tired, but the itch to move was just as strong as his need to sleep. He looked at the clock and heaved a sigh, too late to go to the Shoten. So he got ready for bed and figured that he could head over in the morning.

After breakfast with his family Ichigo rushed to grab a bag with a change of clothes and headed for the door. “Where do you think you’re going? You should be relaxing.”

“Dad, I am going to relax, but first I want a really good workout, so I’m heading over to the Shoten. Why have you been so focused on stopping me from going?”

“I just worry about you Ichigo and Urahara is a twisted man.”

“Yes, but he was actually there to train me when I was thrown into the depths of all of this stuff. Besides, I never said I was going to see him. I’m just going to his shop, but I am planning on meeting up with a friend to train.”

“You mean that Arancar, don’t you? Ichigo, that is just as bad, if not worse. Seriously, think about this.”

“I am, now I’m leaving.” With that Ichigo slammed the door behind himself on his way out. 

Ishiin didn’t bother to follow Ichigo. He wasn’t lying when he said that he was worried, but he also trusted his son to be able to take care of himself and his judgement of the character of others. 

When Ichigo approached the Shoten he felt so dumb, he should have known that Urahara would have Grimmjow working this morning. Instead of distracting him he just stopped and looked around, trying to decide on his next move. 

“He is done at noon if you want to wait.” Ururu seemed to come out of nowhere. 

“Uh, thanks Ururu. I think I will just go and sit in the corner and wait for him.” Ichigo walked into the private rooms in the back of the shop where he sat his bag down by the door before taking his kneeling position in the corner of the room where everyone usually gathers when they come to the shop. Instead of worrying about Grimmjow or anything else that has been happening lately he took the time to meditate and focus inward. Ichigo hadn’t intended on entering his inner world, but that is what happened. 

“Well, I guess this way I don’t have to wait alone.”

“Not unless you want to.” Responded behind him. 

Ichigo turned to see Zangetsu standing there with an amused look on his face. “Thanks Zangetsu. Usually it takes longer for you to show up when I come here.”

“That may be true, but usually it isn’t an intentional trip in here and I have a lesson to teach you. Today though, your patience and goal to be unobtrusive while you wait for Grimmjow has made me proud of how much you have grown since your powers have been awakened.”

“Thanks. Was Grimm right about how I’ve been feeling lately?”

“You mean about you not having enough time to recuperate properly and how you are under so much internal and external pressure from the Soul Society. I do believe that to be the case. You need to remember that you don’t have to go about any of this by yourself. You may be strong and you may have been growing a lot, but you are stronger with your friends by your side.”

Ichigo smiled at his zanpakuto. “Then it is a good thing that you are my friend and you are always with me. I’ve been trying to rely more on my friends, that is kind of why I’m here to begin with.”

“I suppose that is true. You should return now, I believe it is getting close to time.”

“Thanks again, Zangetsu.”

Ichigo closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening his eyes again in the world of the living. 

“Ah, welcome back Ichigo.” Urahara greeted Ichigo. “How long have you been waiting like this?”

“Hmm… What time is it?” Ichigo looked up at the shopkeeper.

“Nearly noon.” He adjusted his hat, pulling it down over his eyes more.

“Then about two hours. I got here around 10 this morning. I came hoping to spar with Grimmjow, but I didn’t want to rush him or make him feel guilty that I arrived before he got off work, so I came in here to wait for him. Only my meditation took me to my innerworld. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion.”

“Of course not, in fact I’ve been rather amused watching your meditation. I’m surprised by how deeply you connect to your innerworld.” Urahara smirked at Ichigo. “He took on extra time, he said that there were some things that he has been needing. Perhaps something for you two?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, but it does explain why I didn’t know that he was working this morning. As long as I have been imposing on you, then I really don’t mind waiting a little longer. I was hoping that we would spar today, I’ve been feeling quite a bit better since all of my exams are over for this year.” 

“Tea, while you wait?”

“Not necessary, Kiske, I’m done.”

“Very well, shall I put a do not disturb sign on the hatch to the training grounds?”

“Haha, we are going to train.” Ichigo responded with a dry tone.  
Grimmjow held out his hand to help Ichigo up and the two headed to the underground facility. “How long have you been waiting for me? Ururu said that you came by this morning, but I didn’t realize that you had stayed. I’m sorry that you had to wait.”

“Not your fault that I didn’t call ahead to see if you were busy before heading over here.” Ichigo popped out of his body and dropped down onto the sand below. “Can we spar today?”

Before responding Grimmjow analyzed Ichigo and he did seem to be carrying himself much better than the last two times that he had come over to the Shoten. “Fine, we can see how it goes. Did you hold your kneeling position for the whole time that you were waiting for me?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve found in the last couple of days that kneeling like that is one of the few ways that I can calm my mind. I figured that I should probably meditate while waiting for you instead of getting agitated or antsy. Knowing you lately, I thought that would be a one way ticket to being reprimanded for not taking care of myself and I miss fighting with you.”

“Wow, ok.” The grin that split Grimmjow’s face was sharklike and intimidating, “Come at me.”

Ichigo grabbed Zangetsu from his back, the white wrapping unspiraling as he brought his sword to a ready position in front of himself. He launched an attack straight at Grimmjow, when Grimm leaped sideways to avoid the hit, Ichigo easily twisted to his right, eyes alight with the challenge.

“Heh, you are feeling better, that was square on. Too bad you are out of practice.” Grimmjow sneered at Ichigo again. He drew his sword, leaping he swiped at Ichigo and was easily swept away. “Is that all you got?”

“Really? I just threw you further than you initially jumped and sent you flying faster than you launched. You’re taking it easy, I want a good fight.” As he finished speaking, Ichigo started drawing on his spiritual pressure, “I want a real good match, come on!”

“Careful of what you wish for. Grind, Pantera!” With his usual shark-like grin Grimmjow launched himself again at Ichigo.

“Hah, there we go!” The two clashed and the resounding wave of spiritual pressure crushed a few of the closest boulders and a circle of sand was pressed out. 

The two friends continued their exchange of blows until they were both panting and covered in sweat, some time after their first real clash Ichigo had released his bankai in order to more easily keep up with Grimmjow. They both had landed their fair share of hits as well, so they both also had some blood on them, but they were both smiling as much as their panting bodies allowed. They had only paused for a short time to catch their breath, but before either of them could launch a new round of attacks, Urahara appeared next to them. His unexpected appearance made the two friends jump backward and raise their weapons in defense before they realized who it was that showed up.

“What do you want Urahara?” Ichigo was the first to recover from the shock.

“Well, there seems to be an issue, why don’t you two come upstairs?” Urahara didn’t wait for a response, in fact he hardly acknowledged the two at all before turning his back on them.

Ichigo looked at Grimmjow, eyebrows furrowed, “Did that make any sense to you?”

“No, let’s go.” Grimmjow said, releasing his transformation.

“O-okay.” Ichigo resealed his bankai and placed Zangetsu in his normal place on his back before heading back up to the shop.

When they got up to the room where everyone usually gathers, there was only one face that didn’t match the tenets of the shop or Ichigo’s friends, and that would be his dad.

“What are you doing here?” Ichigo so tactfully said upon noticing his dad at the table with a cup of tea in front of him.

Without saying a word he looked up at Ichigo with a glare that could kill. Ichigo immediately slunk behind Grimmjow and grabbed onto the back of his jacket.

“Eh? What are you hiding behind me for?” Grimm shouted over his shoulder.

“I, um, I don’t know. Sorry. Dad, what’s wrong?” Ichigo tried again peering out around Grimm’s shoulder.

“Grimmjow, why don’t you and I step out into the shop? I think there was a box I needed your help with earlier that got missed.” Urahara tried to give the two Kurosaki men a little privacy.

“Oh, no, I think this has to do with me, so I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Grimm, please. I promise we can go back down later, just give us a minute, okay?” Ichigo said with his chin on his chest before stepping up to the table and setting himself down opposite his dad.

Grimm looked between his friend and his father before sighing, “Okay.”

After Urahara and Grimmjow shut the door behind them, Ichigo glanced up to see his dad watching him closely. “Why are you so mad?”

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed, but I really don’t have room to talk, seeing as I didn’t tell you a lot of things for so many years, I was hoping that after everything that happened you would understand and come talk to me.”

“Really, this is the issue that Urahara interrupted us for? Me not talking to you? Really!” Ichigo flung his arms up. “I told you I was coming over for a workout…”

Before Ichigo could finish his statement, Ishiin interrupted, “With an Arrancar, Ichigo. You didn’t tell me that the friend that you’ve been spending so much time with was one of Aizen’s Arrancar. You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend either.”

Ichigo froze. What was his father talking about, boyfriend? “Urahara told you what he saw didn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“He is not my boyfriend, just a friend, he never really wanted to kill me and now he is trying to help me keep myself together, that is all.” 

“I know what a sub-drop looks like Ichigo. You can’t possibly tell me that there is nothing happening between the two of you.”

“It’s all platonic!” Ichigo slammed his fists on the table with a shout. “He was helping me process what has been happening to me lately and when he noticed that I was crying was simply trying to comfort me, remind me that I’m not alone!”

“You’re not alone, Ichigo, you just don’t let me in. Anyone in.”

Ichigo ignored his father, stood and headed towards the trapdoor to the training facility again.

At the sudden silence Grimmjow peeked inside the private quarters in time to see Ichigo disappear into the back. Slowly he stepped inside and took Ichigo’s spot at the table, careful not to spook Ishiin.

“He wasn’t lying to you. I’m not interested in anything other than a friendship, but when he couldn’t even make a stable advance against me last week I had to figure out how to get him to acknowledge how he has been feeling. There isn’t anything going on between us. I just didn’t want him self-destructing. Not after everything that he has done for everyone. I don’t want to lose my only friend because he won’t admit that he needs a break.” Grimmjow didn’t look at Ishiin at all, resolutely staring at the table.

“Why didn’t he tell me that you were still alive? I get why Urahara didn’t, but not Ichigo.”

“Probably to avoid upsetting you. I don’t know. I thought that he had. Why did he take off?” Grimm tilted his head very much like a dog questioning what he was hearing.

“Are you really not his boyfriend?” Ishiin squinted at Grimmjow.

“Not even close, no thank you. Not interested in that.” Grimm said, before eyes widening, “Not that he wouldn’t be a catch, but I’m not interested in people like that, like at all.” Hands were waving in front of himself.

Ishiin simply chuckled. “You sound like Ichigo, but I’ve seen a look in his eyes recently that made me think that there might be someone.” He shook his head.

“Can I go check on Ichigo?” Grimm asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, if I go down there he is probably going to try to kill me right now. I don’t need to deal with that. You go. Tell him I’m sorry for making him feel like I don’t listen.” With that Ishiin got up and left the shoten.

Grimmjow dropped into the dessert below the shop. Quickly put both hands up in a wordless surrender as Ichigo spun at him. “He’s sorry, you know?”

“I don’t care, he just won’t accept what I said.”

“Come here.” Grimm gently said, but it was clear with the way Ichigo’s shoulders dropped that he heard it as the quiet command he meant it to be.

“I talked to him after you stalked away. He is just worried about you and was doing what a good father should do. Checking on his only son.”

Ichigo tucked himself under Grimmjow’s chin, rubbing his cheek against his chest in the process. Grimmjow let out a chuckle that was barely more than a huff of breath, “You remind me of Yoruichi when she is in cat form and playing up to the part of a good housecat. You know that?”

“As long as you don’t imagine me with cat ears I really don’t care. Why do all this for me? I mean the first time we met we tried to kill each other and then again and again several more times before I thought I really had. Why are you helping me, why are you my friend?”

“Because you are strong enough to stand against me. Because you fight for what belongs to you.” Grimm hummed, but under Ichigo’s ear it sounded more like a deep purr.

“Heh, you sound like you’re purring, so who is the cat now?” Ichigo laughed. “I’m glad I failed.”

“Failed, what?”

“To kill you.” Ichigo wiggled in Grimmjow’s arms again until he was able to look up at his friend. “I’m glad that you are my friend. Now, I said that we could come back down here after that mess was over with, come on let’s fight.”

“No, we are going to go soak in the hot spring. Kiske set up a privacy screen even, so no worrying about dear old daddy walking in on you in the bath.”

“Why?”

“Because being naked in front of family is usually seen as awkward, or am I wrong?”

“Not that, why no more fighting?”

“Because you’re exhausted and I don’t want you to get hurt without it being earned. You came to relax right? Finals are over.”

“Right. Only if…”

“Don’t finish that statement!” Ishiin yelled, startling the two friends.

“I thought you left!” Grimmjow startled.  
Ichigo dug his face as far into Grimmjow’s chest as he could. “I wasn’t going to say anything dirty. Why are you down here?”

“Karin yelled at me for leaving you alone after upsetting you and Yuzu got angry that I upset Karin and sent me back here to apologize.” 

“Grimm already told me that you were sorry.”

“Yes, that, but also that I can’t communicate clearly. I’m, we’re worried about you Ichigo, you haven’t been yourself lately and the only times you have been were after spending a lot of time here doing who knows what. We want you to be comfortable with talking with us and coming to us with trouble. I know you don’t want to burden your sisters, but they are scared something is going on that is hurting you. Since I do really know what has been going on and you know this now, I don’t want you ignoring that I can help you if you need it.” Ishiin paused looking at Grimm and then back down at Ichigo, “Grimmjow said that you have been needing a break, so why don’t I take over for the next week and you get some real rest, okay? Even if that means you spend much of your time here this week, I know he doesn’t mean anything. I’m sorry I haven’t made you feel listened to lately.”

“Yeah, okay. Can you go away now? I come here to get away from...well, everything. Can we talk when I get home, or tomorrow?” Ichigo questioned.

“Can I tell your sisters that you aren’t overly mad at me anymore?”

“I’m not mad, I don’t think I ever was. So, yeah.”

“Okay, I will see you at home.” With that Ishiin left.


	4. Figuring Things Out

After waiting long enough to know for sure that his dad was no longer in the underground training facility Ichigo pushed harshly, head leaning away and arm outstretched, against Grimmjow in order to get away from his hold. He immediately turned and stalked away from his friend, but at least he was heading in the direction of the hot spring. Grimmjow had been concerned that he wouldn’t after his dad had interrupted them. 

Grimm couldn’t let his concern linger as he let Ichigo’s movements hold his attention, he chuckled, “Cat.”

Ichigo looked over his shoulder at his friend, “What?”

Grimm simply shook his head as he followed. Even though Ichigo made his way to the hotspring first, Grimm was the first one undressed and stretched out along the lip of the pool, head laying back on the ground and his arms outstretched. Smirking Ichigo slowly lowered himself in, trying not to make any sound. With his mouth lowered into the water, Ichigo waded his way over to his friend where he promptly settled next to Grimmjow, but twisted enough that he could smoosh his face against his friend again. The physical contact which was not expected made Grimm jump and Ichigo in turn laughed at him. 

“Why all touchy feely all of a sudden?” Grimm peeked at his friend through slit eyes. 

“Because I feel bad that you had to deal with my dad today and I am thankful for everything that you have been doing for me.”

A humm was the only response that Ichigo got to that. 

Glaring at his friend, Ichico cocked his head to the side, an idea coming to him. Before he could think too hard about the urge or talk himself out of it, his head darted forward quickly licking Grimmjow’s jaw before leaping away from him. He mostly expected Grimm to jump and shout as he flailed to hit Ichigo, but what he got in response was a surprise. 

At the feeling of what was clearly a tongue on his jaw Grimmjow stilled, muscles stiff as he slowly lowered his chin. He leveled Ichigo with quirked brow and steely eyes. “Is that so?”

Watching his friend, trying to figure out what he was thinking, Ichigo swallowed hard. His breathing remained steady, but it became more obvious the longer he didn’t respond and waited, watching Grimmjow.

“If that is how it’s going to be, then I think that it is time to get out of the water and dressed again.” Grimmjow pushed himself up and out of the water without waiting to see what Ichigo was going to do in response to that. His focus was more on what he wanted to do to the brat. Grimm had brought a bag of stuff down here a couple days ago, and in it was a collar, with the other stuff that they had used already or discussed before. Before he had his pants on again he heard water splashing indicating that Ichigo did the correct thing by following Grimm out.

“Are you mad at me?” Grimm heard quietly whispered behind him.

“Why, are you worried?” Grimm flatly replied and didn’t even look at his friend. He knew that if he did a shit eating grin would break out across his face. He was actually highly amused at Ichigo’s antics at this point. All new, but funny and acceptable, with a little bit of retribution.

“I, ugh, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I upset you in any way.” Ichigo’s voice sounded far too small, which got Grimm to turn around quickly.

“You’re not in trouble and you didn’t upset me, you just got my mind going a little bit. With the way you were acting it made me think of a few things that we have discussed in the past, no real trouble. I promise, you were just being a bit of a brat who wanted attention that you weren’t getting. I get it. Not angry.” Grimm was searching Ichigo’s face making sure that his words were reaching him.

“Okay.” Ichigo shivered, the warm water starting to cool on his naked skin.

“Please, Ichigo, get dressed before you catch cold.” Grimm turned to grab a towel to hand to Ichigo.

“Okay.” He took the towel and quickly toweled off the worst of the dripping water before getting dressed himself.

Seeing that Ichigo finally got dressed he started off towards his bag again. While they had discussed things like mild bondage and following orders, they never discussed the use of a collar or other aspects of a submissive nature like acting certain ways, i.e. pet play, but based on how Ichigo was behaving in order to get Grimmjow's attention he felt that it might work.

Ichigo walked up behind Grimm and was trying to peek into the bag of things that he was always kept out of, "Whatcha got there?"

"Nothing yet. Have you heard of pet play before?" Grimm asked, still looking through the gear.

"You mean like people acting like dogs for a master?" Ichigo responded with another question instead of a direct response. "Why?"

"Well, it has to do with an observation about the way that you act, but before I go too far into it, I have to ask; Would you consider trying a collar?" Grimm finished in a whisper on the last word.

"Wait, don't people in the community use them as a type of ring? I thought this was all platonic." The stress was constricting his throat and confusion in Ichigo's voice was palpable.

"It can be for some, but for others it can just mean that you belong to someone in a submissive manner, like how you are acting as my submissive. It doesn't have to mean something as permanent or intimate as a marriage or engagement, but it does signify an agreement." Grimm located the small box that contained a soft, pliable black leather collar that he had bought specifically with Ichigo in mind. On the box he had taped a physical contract with everything that they had discussed and other standard guidelines for a BDSM relationship.

"Read the paper and take a look inside the box. You don't have to give me an answer now, but I do want you to take a close look at both those. If you want to stay longer that is fine, but just know, I'm not going to do anything else related to this until you give me your 'okay' on the contract and return it signed. No, I don't have a pen, on purpose. You have to seriously consider what you would be agreeing to and if there is anything that you want to add or change we would then have to discuss it again before next time. Also, I wouldn't want a dog. That doesn't fit you, but you do have your obedient streaks." Grimm chuckled as he handed over the box. "I see a cat."

“What did I say about picturing me with cat ears?” Ichigo said with barely withheld sarcasm.

“Hey, I never said you would have to wear cat ears.” Grimmjow’s defensive response left his mouth before he noticed that Ichigo was actually messing with him. “Ah.”

“I’m not saying yes to wearing them, so don’t get the wrong idea. I will take these home with me and think about what I read and see, I guess. Thanks for handling everything so well today. Hopefully my dad has been placated and won’t bother us again. I might have more explaining to do when I get home, but whatever, that’s what I get for keeping my life connected to my role as Substitute Soul Reaper away from my family.” 

Grimmjow watched as Ichigo turned to leave. “Don’t worry too much about it.”

The only response that he got in response was a slight dip of Ichigo’s head with a nod before he was quickly making his way out of the training facility and heading home. 

“I’m home!” Ichigo shouted as he walked in only to have to dodge as his father launched a flying kick aimed at his head. “Too slow.”

“Oh, come on!” Isshin cried after Ichigo as he walked up the stairs keeping the box tucked against his side.

Ichigo slumped against his door releasing a long breath. He looked down at his hands as he turned the small box over, being careful not to damage the paper taped to. 

When Isshin knocked on the door Ichigo jumped halfway across his room and turned towards the door. “You going to come down for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, why?” Ichigo said, dropping the box on his bed and looking up at his dad.

“It’s on the table. Yuzu tried to tell you when you came in the door.” 

“Ah, yeah, I’ll be right down. I need to change real quick. I feel gross from the fight with Grimmjow before you showed up.”

“Be quick.” With that Isshin turned and headed back downstairs for dinner.

Ichigo did in fact quickly strip out of his clothes and throw on some loose sweats and an oversized tee before heading for the dinning table himself. “Sorry, Yuzu. I was deep in thought when I got home and needed to change. Everything looks delicious. Thank you for the food.”

“Did Dad actually go back and appologize for being stupid?” Karin’s dulcet tone joined the conversation before Yuzu’s sweet tone could answer Ichigo.

“I told you, I immediately went back!” Isshin immediately whined.

“He did, but I wasn’t upset with him per say. Either way, don’t want to talk about it, just don’t be mad at him anymore. It’s not his fault, for once.”

Yuzu giggled quietly at Ichigo’s response. “You’re welcome, Ichi-nii. I hope you like it.”

“It looks like all of my favorites, so I probably will.” He turned a kind smile on his sister. “Are you trying to bribe me for something?”

“No! I’m apologizing for dad’s bad behavior earlier.” She shot their father a glare.

Ichigo chuckled, but instead of responding he just dug into the plentiful food. Ignoring the way that Isshin kept shooting him quiet and questioning glances.

“Leave it alone! We agreed about everything earlier, just let me eat!” Ichigo raised his voice, finally put up with his father’s behavior. “I’ll give you what you need after dinner, please, let’s just have a family dinner.”

“Ichi-nii?” Yuzu quietly questioned.

“Leave it, Yuzu. Clearly dad trying and failing to look at Ichigo without notice wasn’t as stealthy as he thought.” Karin butted in saving Ichigo from having to explain anything further unless he really wanted to and he sure didn’t.

“Honey! Do you see this! Our kids are ganging up on me again!” Isshin wailed looking at the huge photo on the wall like always.

Ichigo and his sisters ignored him and continued eating, with Yuzu watching with a concerned furrow in her brow as usual.

Quickly finishing his food because he didn’t want to have to deal with this anymore, he headed back to his room to dig out his soul pass for his dad’s use the rest of the week. He placed it on his desk for when his father finally got over himself again and came up to talk to Ichigo again. In the meantime he sat down on his bed and just looked at the folded paper on the box. No matter how hard he tried, Ichigo couldn’t get himself to actually reach for the box to remove the paper to read it. He didn’t know what was on it, but clearly it related to BDSM based on the conversation he had with Grimmjow when he handed it to him before he left. In the box was clearly a collar also based on that conversation.

Taking a deep breath, Ichigo slowly released it, gently peeling the tape off of the box. He merely held the folded paper in his hands staring down at it. He didn’t even react when his dad knocked on the door, just barely before he pushed his way into his room. “It’s on the desk. You said you’d take care of my Substitute duties this week. Other than that, don’t make a big deal about anything this week, okay? That means no more of that stupid look on your face that you had at dinner. Remember, I need to relax and a break, with you shooting me looks like that all it does is piss me off. That doesn’t help.”

Isshin didn’t say anything. He only picked up the pass and put it in his pocket watching Ichigo with badly hidden concern in his eyes. “Is that really all that is going on?”

Ichigo finally looked up at his dad in response to the question. “Yeah, why?”

“I’ve never seen you like that before, the closest would be when you cuddle with Yuzu on the couch. You haven’t caught feelings for that, for him, have you?”

Eyes widening before narrowing in a glare at his father, “I told you a million times, I’m not interested and he is just a friend. Stop asking. You even said it yourself, he doesn’t mean anything, sexual or romantic. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ichigo, that’s not what I meant. Are they harassing you? The Gotei. They aren’t pestering you or anything are they?” Isshin was more concerned with them taking out his desertion on Ichigo and if Ichigo had been working so hard that he had reached this state he was worried that that was what was going on. 

“What? No, not unless they are the ones unleashing the hollows on Karakura. I doubt that they are since they are the ones who are supposed to protect the world of the living from them to begin with.”

“Have you seen any other shinigami around to help with their removal?” 

Ichigo paused. He hadn’t noticed any other Soul Reapers in the last month at least, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t here, right?

Noticing Ichigo’s pause and the furrowing of his brows, Isshin sighed. “There hasn’t been, has there?”

“Not that I’ve noticed in the last month, but that doesn’t mean anything. There also hasn’t been as many this last month either. What does that mean to you?”

“Nothing right now, but please just be careful.” With that Isshin finally turned and left Ichigo to his thoughts.

Ichigo returned to staring at the paper in his hands, but was finally able to unfold it and found that there were two pages in his hands. That was as far as he got before Kon crawled out of the closet.

“You know that he is worried that they are taking out his behavior on you now that they found him, right?” Kon said, turning to look up at Ichigo on the bed.

“I figured that out. As far as I can tell, they aren’t doing anything to me because of him, but I also don’t know for sure. He clearly is going to go on a hunt for any Soul Reapers in town tonight, I just hope that doesn’t get used against me.” Ichigo simply responded, not really caring about the Mod Soul. 

“Whatcha got there, Ichi?” Kon asked, noticing that Ichigo was looking at something in his hands.

“Nothing, go back to bed.” Ichigo didn’t actually know what was on the papers, so it wasn’t too much of a lie.

“Fine, whatever, don’t come crying to me for my help then.” The little lion complained climbing back into the closet and pulling the door closed behind himself.

Sighing for what felt like the millionth time this night, Ichigo laid back on his bed, being careful to scoot the box over as he held up the papers to finally try and read them. What he found as he started reading was what was apparently a BDSM contract for him and Grimmjow. He read it through entirely, but wasn’t sure that he truly understood what he saw. Ichigo read the document through a couple more times before he noticed a line, _ Collar - pet play  _ from a section about his care, if he was understanding what he was reading correctly. This line made him swallow the lump that had been building in his throat. He finally turned to the box. 

Ichigo pushed himself back up into a sitting position before pulling the lid of the box off. What he found was a soft, black leather (probably fake) collar with white edges, not unlike his fullbring outfit’s collar. The major differences between the two were obviously the material with which they were made out of, but also that this one went all the way around and had a D ring attached to the front of it. He picked it up, it was pliable, but it was also thick and sturdy. As Ichigo turned it around in his hands, bending it every which way, he noticed that it was actually quite soft. He lifted it to rub against his face and then lowered it to feel it against his neck. Lowering the collar back to his lap, Ichigo analyzed the clasp and noticed that it was simple enough that he could actually try the collar on in his room without any help.

Slowly he placed the papers to his side and the collar back in the box before standing and walking over to his door. Ichigo was going to simply lock his door and leave it at that, but with how he was feeling he figured he probably needed some uninterrupted meditation, so he decided to use the restroom and take care of his evening routine before returning to his room and finally locking his door. Taking a deep breath Ichigo turned towards his bed and just looked at the collar for a minute before setting his shoulders and picking it up. Slowly he opened it and placed it against his neck again. He just held it against his neck letting himself feel it across more of his skin before finally closing it behind his neck.

Taking a slow breath, Ichigo closed his eyes, just feeling the weight of the collar around his neck and the way that it rested against his skin. Sitting down on his bed, Ichigo reached up and ran the fingers of one hand around the edge of the collar, just feeling He had absolutely no solid thoughts. 

Ichigo jumped when there was a knock at his window behind him. He turned only to find Grimmjow wanting in. Not even thinking about the collar being on him, Ichigo leaned over to open the window for him.

“Hey, why is your dad on patrol?” Grimmjow started as a greeting only to pull up short noticing the collar on Ichigo’s neck. “You’re wearing it.”

“Umm...Yeah.” Was all that Ichigo could summon as a response.


End file.
